This is kind of like a field day for me. Majorly because I was thinking of something really nice to rant about, and few hours back, any bloggers dream come true, piece of news is born.. It came from the prestigious Miss America 2014 pageant and was truly unique. But before I dive into this post, let me take a moment to send out a heartfelt holler to all you bold and visionary girls who participated. You all are true epitome of class and intelligence and each one of you have my utmost respect.
Now going to the “shocking news” (drumroll please….. ) 😉
An Indian descent girl Miss. Nina Davuluri crowned Miss America 2014 !! 😯
ROFL.. These are the moments when I say really loud ( in my mind), IN YOUR FACE BEYAAATCH ! 😛 I mean if you guys follow-up the various tweets that are currently piling up based on this, rest assured, you are gonna laugh your grandma’s stockings off. Here’s one
(Holding my stomach, and laughing till my innards threaten to spill out) How on Rajinikanth’s earth, first of all (assuming ‘Mr Pookie’ [that’s an actual name? Congrats mate ! ] read the news, before he jumped the gun as he does on the bed :P) did he associate the name Nina Davuluri to that of an Arab. With all due respect, does it even match the awesomeness of rocking Arab names like “Mamon-el-toleton” , “Grabb Ir Boubi” , “Hous Bin Fharteen” and the icing on the cake, “Osama bin Hidin”. (Psst.. Try reading them loud 😉 ). Secondly, dude, be it an Arab or an Indian, didn’t you guys naturalize them and gave them the 51 star-studded flag to pin on their chests and make them slog, to achieve the illusionary American Dream? And now, ‘Miss America’ shouldn’t go to Miss-Ethnic-Naturalised-Indian American ! Definitely low standards. Ah! But then weren’t you the same folks, who found zilch in Iraq after claiming, that Uncle Sam had seen WMD being shat out of Saddam’s ass right?
Moving on.. Here’s the next one
Huh? Yea bro. You just topped the class of ‘Indophobic Anonymous’ for the most camouflaged racist comment! 😡 I mean, quoting you ” .. but this is America ” , what exactly was on your mind? Let me pick your brains, since you are technically of higher IQ, as suggested by the infamous Lynn IQ study of 2006, that White Americans stand at 103 IQ while Indians were just at 80 IQ. Here’s the incomes based on ethnicity that Uncle Sam ‘has to’ pay for us low IQ Indians
Personal median incomes (from the 2010 US Census):
- $26,000 Japan
- $26,000 India
- $23,640 White America
- $23,000 Philippines
- $20,000 China
- $16,300 Black America
- $16,300 South Korea
- $16,000 Vietnam
- $16,000 Cambodia
Sigh ! Guess it’s because we are hardcore fans of Mentos. As they say in the tagline, “Dimaag ki batti jala de”
Here’s the next one that mainly lighted up my spark for this blog.. (hold your breath)
ROFL ! This is the first thing that came on my mind reading this ( while inside my mind, I’ve already chopped De La’s balls off and made authentic Indian curry :P) . I mean if we were so capable of infiltrating the Al Qaeda, rest assured bro, we wouldn’t be so messed up , as now. Honestly , we might be bigotic, fanatics, and what not, but terrorism is just not our cup of lime juice. 😛 If asked to bomb a place, we would first update our status on Facebook with the side note “feeling awesome” And then we would, tell it to our best girl friend, or our best blackmailers worldwide , our moms. From there, the girls are pretty capable of gossiping so fast, that it would put to shame Usain Bolt, his world record of 9.58 sec raped! So now you see, when you congratulated Al Qaeda, you have just put to task, pointlessly your own CIA and FBI , who are gonna go meth crazy, to find links between Miss Nina and Al Qaeda, and then come up with a 2984 page report down the lane, claiming Miss Nina’s great grandmother’s second cousin’s twin fraternal brother twice removed had once sold ganja to a weary Al Qaeda militant. Good Luck gal Nina.. You are gonna need it ! 😛
My point? Well Nina sweet heart, congratulations on you winning the title and hats off for your strong indomitable spirit. But you know what? I suggest you return the title and crown ASAP ! Not because of the trade mark Indian phenomenon, of not being able to see a fellow Indian achieve laurels ( all verifiable ) , but years from now, after being racially spat upon by Uncle Sam’s banana and colada munching minions, being thrown around on twittersphere, and finally in old age, being made to acknowledge an autobiography , possibly written by an Indian (we find it so awesome to highlight our own kin’s faults and playing devils advocate), you are gonna come back to that moment shown in the picture above. You in tears when being crowned, and then thinking whether you were actually happy or you just had a vision of all this bullcrap! 😉
Just telling .. As Russel Peters says, TAKE IT’H OR LEAVE IT’H !